A Mess! A Scrambled Mess!

It's been a long time.

Too long.

I've spent too much time being discouraged about drawing, feeling like I've become incapable and focusless. I'd attempt to draw, then immediately stop because I hated what wound-up on the sketchbook paper.

I barely drew, and it's shameful. It's embarrassing.
I felt discouraged by how bad my drawings turned out, and stopped myself from continuing, even though continuing to draw would be the only way to make any improvement. There were several nights over the past few months where I would start drawing, only to end the night in a depressed and anxious mess because I was so disappointed in my self.

But...I guess I'm slowly coming out of that slump.
I picked my pencil up again one day, and started drawing without caring about what I was doing. I started drawing a skeleton and a diagram of the musculature of the human body from reference images, then slowly began picking up speed from there.

As it stands now, I've begun drawing a little more each day.
In this past week, I've managed almost one sketchbook page a day, missing the mark by 2 or 3 pages/days.

What am I doing?
I'm spending too much time thinking. Too much time wondering about what I'm doing instead of just running ahead and letting my pencils and pens hit the paper.

Who cares if I draw something retarded, something terribly-disproportionate, something off-angle or porly-designed? If someone does care, I'll take their criticisms and critiques along with my own self-criticism and learn from it all.

Only a moron would stop themselves with the thought that their work wouldn't be perfect, right?


SO YEAH. ENOUGH RAMBLING.
Let's see some of the slightly-not-trash drawings from my time away from this blog!

I drew a lot of weird things. Have I mentioned I like llamas and alpacas? Alpacas especially.

This is Catherine. Zebra Catherine. I assure you that it made sense at the time of its conception.

And this page is the Red Light District rendered in grayscale.

Rose Hero characters doodled doing things.
And this was the last page from...about mid or late November that was decent.

Just some free doodles from the last week of January, I think. Vyse from Skies of Arcadia, and some Ghost Trick characters, make appearances here. It was about this page that I started feeling more confident again.

I had written up a script for a potential comic using an old character I'd crafted, named Glyde (check the tail-end of this post for the script and other details). As a result of that, I started drawing him in a variety of other scenes, brainstorming uses I could have for him.

Fan art of Moses, from Tales of Legendia. His hands look a little weird, and his legs seem too small and too short, but...ignoring that, he looks pretty nice, I think.

More ideas that came as a result of the creative high born from finishing that script, and from playing too much Solatorobo in the night and morning.

The Volkswagen Weeabeetle, and a four panel fight scene's worth of Tales of Legendia fan art.

There were some instances where I'd draw from reference photos of nude models, but this was the most recent of them, and arguably the best I can offer right now.

I'd also started writing notes to myself as I drew, hoping that somehow, it would spur some positive changes to my drawing.
...I don't really know what to make of this page, really.

At some point, I wanted to try draw some dragons. I'd always had trouble trying to figure out how to draw a typical dragon, being confused with the head shape as well as leg and neck placement, so I started sketching some lizards, then tried my hand at drawing a dragon.

And that's it for stuff from my sketchbook.

The other two images here were used to illustrate parts of a script for a comic that I'd written up earlier in January. Feel free to give it a read if you're very bored and have a lot of time on your hands.




Anyway.
I'm started to get bored with just drawing in my sketchbook.
Not bored in the "this is tedious and draining, it's so pointless," way, but in that the material from my sketchbook doesn't yield any finished, polished work.

And the scanner I have access to right now is absolute garbage when it comes to trying to scan my sketchbook.